The Calm After the Storm
Today, unexpectedly, after almost three years of bitter fighting, my ex-wife and I settled our category 5 level storm of a divorce. The hurricane is over. I don’t feel happy or sad, but instead weird—like what just happened? It’s a strange feeling somewhat similar to the peace after attending a funeral or burial.
Now that I have been through it and it is over, I can write here that divorce is a total lose-lose scenario for everyone but the attorneys and experts. I definitely feel that I lost, my kids lost, our business lost, and I think my ex-wife lost too. Be that as it may, and I am glad those incredibly expensive (you would not believe what I spent) and wasteful proceedings are over and behind me so I can get on with things.
I am told my weird ambivalent feelings are normal and will pass. I am going to take a couple of days off now to reflect, and put all my legal papers, law books, cases, etc. into storage. I learned a lot about family law and divorce that I hope none of my friends reading this ever needs to learn themselves.
Peace.
January 28th, 2006 at 5:40 pm
Vidal, Congratulations on finding some sort of peace following the storm! All the best as you make a new path forward!
January 30th, 2006 at 10:12 pm
Glad to hear you’re out of that limbo state. Best of luck in whatever challenge you’re going to take on next.
January 31st, 2006 at 1:59 am
Like we say “L’adversité est le plus grand des professeurs”. You will learn a lot from that experience and i’m sure you will turn it in a creative way.
February 1st, 2006 at 1:12 pm
CA divorce law is one of the most unfair, one-sided, blatently political institutions in the history of organized justice. I cringe to recall my own grim experiences in the CA courts - my lawyer and I went to great lengths to establish a divorce suit in another state to trump the CA case in an attempt to gain a moderately equitable venue.
I was so exhausted by the end of it all that I felt nothing but relief that the ordeal was over. I didn’t even get to dealing with the repercussions until days later.
Nevertheless, life moves on, days go by, whatever doesn’t kill you, pick your platitude. It’s a big step forward and you can finally get on with the business of getting on. Celebrate.